THE BOOT
Established 1998
"The only news you can trust"
Volume 14 Issue 1
100% pure malice
Bunter the Banker speaks his mind:
YOUR CELEBRITY WEATHER FORECAST
"Dull, duller and duller still."
The silenced majority
INSIDE:
McBUGGETZ
Your kids are going to love 'em
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As the climate crisis deepens , so ethical , environmentally concious food producers like Uncle Bill's, are coming up with ever more yummuy alternatives to tempt children away from the methane menace of real meat.
McBuggetz, offer children a healthy selection of freshly cooked insects, grubs and creepy crawalies all wrapped up in a super tasty, sugar free, candy coating.
I say you chaps, had a bit of a technical problem back here at The Boot, hence we haven't updated for a while. Luckily those spiffin' fellows at Moonfruit sent along a prof-boff, to sort things out.
Uncle Bill's
Uncle Bill's Bugburger
Uncle Bill, hasn't forgotten the bigger kids amongst you either. For those of you who still relish the thought of bun, pickle and relish, Uncle Bills Bugburger will surely fit the bill as we all battle to save the planet.
Mcbuggetz
'Yum yum, mum'
We are hoping that, that beezer, geezer,people pleaser Boris and his merry band of boffins, will soon see fit to open up the exercise yards that we may once again consort and mingle at our pleasure
So, stick with it you absolute rotters , grab your jab when matron calls, (no blubbin') and maybe we'll all make it out by Christmas..
. Sadly, in our absence, not much has changed though has it? You're all still hunkered down in your hovels, living on Lidl and gorging Netflix , while me and my chums are making do with Harrods hampers and hot baths.
Yours Bunter
Vax Populi - page 2
A rude Spring time ryme - page 3
'Build back butter' - page 4
Hopping back to Happiness -page 5
Your letters - page 6
The Brillo is back - page 7
Two brilliant Boot bestsellers - page 8